Many of us, that have lived a little while, have had experiences that we look back on and realize they were lessons we had to learn, especially in the area of relationships. If you have never had your heart broken consider yourself lucky or maybe you just have not lived long enough.

Relationships are usually some of the most difficult challenges that we go through in life. They can be difficult for a number of reasons. When we are in love we have to surrender our hearts to another. Depending on where we might be in our own development in life it can be something that is easy or one of the most difficult tasks you will ever have to deal with.

The metaphysical perspective

From a metaphysical perspective when we incarnate we decide on the challenges that we will encounter in our lifetime. As a soul we have lessons to learn and experiences to grow from. Romantic relationships can be so difficult they can test our sanity.

The area that I would like to speak on today in how to recognize when a relationship is one that is “drama filled” and one that is a challenge.

Is Hollywood killing relationships?

I think in today’s world we really have a very romanticized view of what “true” love is. I believe we get caught up in the Hollywood idea of what love should be. That means that we meet someone and we live happily ever after. The implication of this perspective is that when we truly love someone everything should be peaches and cream and we should never get angry, have an argument or even question whether or not we are in love. If your view of love is one that is of a Hollywood like perspective then I think there may be some difficulties you will encounter in your love life.

Many of us have been through ups and downs in relationships. I have learned some very difficult lessons personally. I have never had a Hollywood perspective on love. I like to believe that I am pretty centered and even keeled on the subject of love. I have had my heart broken and broken some hearts. One of my favorite musical artists is Eric Benet. He wrote a song called “Still I believe in Love”. One of the verses of the song says:

“I’ve been the angel been the beast, I’ve been confused and had clarity, I went the distance only to find there was nothing there, take your hearts place your bets On this game of Russian roulette If you lose they won’t remember of even care, oh well! But still I believe in love”

even though he has been on both sides of the break ups he still keeps an open mind and open heart about love. Just like Eric Benet at some point you have to believe that true love is possible or you will not want to work through any issues your relationships may have. Believe me when I say, if you have personal issues that arise in relationships you will work them out with the person you are with, or you will work them out with the new person. But until you work through the issues they will repeat. Wherever you go, goes the relationship issues. The grass is not always greener on the other side.

What is true love?

What is true love? I believe true love is unconditional. That means it can not be based on a feelings or emotions. unconditional love is a decision. It is the same as the creators love for us ALL. From a romantic stand point that type of love is earned. It takes time to develop the trust and eventually be able to surrender to another. What lessons are you to learn and why is this person in your life? Are they the challenge for you? Or are they a destructive force that you need to remove yourself from? How do you recognize the difference?

This is how you recognize the difference between a relationship that is “drama filled” and one that is a challenge. Drama is simply this; you are both going in a proverbial circle. In other words you argue and there is never any resolution to the issue. You continually repeat the same issue over and over. It ends up in the same place that it started. A challenge on the other had spurs you to grow. Yes, you may argue, fuss and fight about major issues. But when you come to a resolution on the issue and you both can agree to move on and it does not repeat itself then the relationship has evolved. In a challenging relationship you can have ups and downs but you spur each other by challenging the other person grow and evolve. A challenging relationship is one that both people can trust that the other person is not out to hurt them and can therefore surrender their heart. With drama the arguments you had last year are the same you have this year. In this instance you are equal partners in the drama. Can drama change? Sure it can when the people decide to change.

When you continually have the same difficulties repeat in your life, it is a lesson you have chosen to learn as a soul. When are able to move past those difficulties the lesson has been learned and you are free to move on to other lessons. However, if you keep getting the same thing over and over it is time to stop and realize that you have something to teach yourself in this realm of life and reality. You are never the victim, you create your reality. If you always see things from a victims viewpoint then it is your lesson to learn. You can be a creator or a victim but you can’t be both.

Only you can decide what the relationship is for you

An argument does not always equate to being “drama.” People that love each other can disagree. Sometimes they may say things that may be perceived as hurtful. It could be an area of yourself that you were not aware of. You then have an opportunity to grow from it or create drama. The choice is yours.

Are you in a relationship that is “drama filled” or is it challenging? There is a definite difference that you have to recognize and only you can decide. 

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